Thursday, July 8, 2010

                         


Every time I seem to get into my head that I'm getting back on my feet everything just seems so overwhelming again. I think the six years of continuous study has just gotten to me, I just want it to be over, to be able to not have study nights and weekends, to not feel guilty about not getting enough done.

At the same time I'm scared, I've been a student for so long, when real life begins I won't know how to find my feet, I won't know where to start.

I feel like I can only handle little things at a time, a little bit of cleaning (the room is finally tidy, you have no idea how much better that has made me feel), a plan to be organised (but sticking to a plan is a different thing), but trying to get a hold on my life is another story.

I would love not to feel overwhelmed... to be able to relax without these niggling thoughts in the back of my mind. One and half more years of study and I'll be done. Then 3 months of travel, utter freedom...it will be bliss...I like to dream and plan but I don't want to distract myself from this last dash.

In fact this is a distraction now. But I need it, although sometimes I think I would be better off working from dawn till the wee hours but I would hardly survive. It's the little things right.

4 comments:

Em said...

I know how you feel. Even the smallest things can feel so overwhelming that they crush you at times. Miss you!

fashion westie said...

You are talking to one of the most prolific list and plan makers around...and yes, sticking to them IS hard. But like a little tidy of the room, once you start 'marking things off the list' the ball starts rolling and you don't feel so overwhelmed. Your right. Little things. Little steps.

Pretty Little Pictures said...

I think its good to plan for the future and good to have a distraction for a little while.

I suggest taking some time out, even just a day and spend it doing whatever you want to do. You will come back feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the world.

Everyone needs a break, I think you are being too hard on yourself.

piglet said...

Don't worry the real world is really not that scary! Much better than studying (I think!)