Thursday, July 8, 2010

                         


Every time I seem to get into my head that I'm getting back on my feet everything just seems so overwhelming again. I think the six years of continuous study has just gotten to me, I just want it to be over, to be able to not have study nights and weekends, to not feel guilty about not getting enough done.

At the same time I'm scared, I've been a student for so long, when real life begins I won't know how to find my feet, I won't know where to start.

I feel like I can only handle little things at a time, a little bit of cleaning (the room is finally tidy, you have no idea how much better that has made me feel), a plan to be organised (but sticking to a plan is a different thing), but trying to get a hold on my life is another story.

I would love not to feel overwhelmed... to be able to relax without these niggling thoughts in the back of my mind. One and half more years of study and I'll be done. Then 3 months of travel, utter freedom...it will be bliss...I like to dream and plan but I don't want to distract myself from this last dash.

In fact this is a distraction now. But I need it, although sometimes I think I would be better off working from dawn till the wee hours but I would hardly survive. It's the little things right.