Monday, March 7, 2011

I am safe (saying I am fine wouldn't really be appropriate), my family and I have been so blessed in both of the large earthquakes that have shook Christchurch. We always had power and water, our house is not destroyed. The area I live in is relatively free of damage and reminders of the heartbreaking disaster that has occurred.

It almost makes it worse, to live somewhere where it looks so peaceful, so normal. You can't escape the footage on the news, which for the first week my face was glued too, tears streaming down my face. I feel like my home is not my home anymore. People are trying to stay positive and looking towards rebuilding and restarting. It will probably take years until we are in any way back to normal. However our city will never look the same again, and feeling safe seems like a far off dream.

Thanks to those who have shown concern and support.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Being a student officially sucks

At the moment I feel my life in a holding pattern. I feel like I'm waiting for real life to begin, real life being when I become an adult, when I'm not longer a student and when I can start putting things on hold (like travel, moving, getting on with life).

Any one who has done postgraduate study will probably know where I'm coming from. I'm currently entering my 7th year of study and I really feel I couldn't stand being a student any longer - If I couldn't see the finish line I would be constantly curled up in a corner somewhere rocking.

I felt like having goals to work towards has been helpful, but at the same time I feel that my life just consists of working towards milestones in my study and nothing else. Hence the feeling of real life being non-existent. It's taken a toll on my life, but at the same time I have to feel like it's all been worth it. One of the only things that stops me quitting is that after all those years I wouldn't have much to show for myself.

I know this is probably not the last time I will feel like this - there will probably be times later in my life where I feel again like I'm in a holding pattern. I think there is this fairytale in my head that everything will be better once I'm done.


So now instead of procrastinating (thank you internets) I should be focusing on finishing my thesis so I can get on with the next stage of waiting to become an adult.

Friday, October 29, 2010

I'm a dirty liar

I make these big promise of regular posting and checking in on your guys and life gets in the way.

Currently studying for an exam that covers the last two years of my life. I'm am under prepared and probably won't be able to cover half of the material needed. Let you know if I need to change career options in a few weeks.

Possibly back to regularly scheduled programming then who know....

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Earthquake - very surreal indeed

The Canterbury region of the South Island of New Zealand was hit by an earthquake - one of the places hit the worse was Christchurch, my home town and where I currently live. The reports are a little sketchy I think it's been downgraded and it's been officially reported as being 7.1 on the Richter scale (larger than the one that shook Haiti, yet we are blessed to have gotten off so lightly), we've also been experiencing aftershocks, many being above 3.

It's really surreal, there are pockets of horrible damage, building collapsed, streets cracked and flooded. At the same time some places are relatively unaffected, in my house hardly anything fell over, things perched precariously on shelves stayed where they were, the only thing that tumbled was a necklace stand. The rest of the house is relatively unaffected too - we have many treasures from my parents travels, beautiful, breakable and irreplaceable things all of which are fine.
Photo:David Alexander AP
Some people were not so lucky. Their houses are uninhabitable, they are in rescue centres, one which is in a school near my house. Yet I can wander round my suburb and see that people are slowly getting back to normal here, even though the aftershocks are still shaking us.

My personal experience? As I first knew what was happening (shaken awake at 4.35am, it took a second for my brain to realise *Earthquake*) - I was excited, this was something that doesn't happen in in places like this. I think since there was little damage to my house the seriousness of it didn't strike me. The power was out from the time of the quake and I managed to hear some reports on the radio but it wasn't until I was able to see the T.V news report later in the afternoon and the see some of the damage that it really struck home.

Photo - Canterbury University Library (from the UC Website)
The University is closed for a week - to check it's safe and to tidy up, we were due back this week from holidays but no such luck (more of a hassle for us postgraduate students since we never really left). The damage looks horrible though, bookshelves toppled like dominoes. 

I think we're going to be okay though. I hope that if you have family here you've managed to get in touch with them and know that they are safe, and that they haven't suffered too much damage.
The news reports and pictures showing the very worst damage can give the idea that Christchurch has been swallowed up by the earth or is lying in ruins so I can understand that a lot of people overseas may have been in a panic (I know my sister over in Germany was!).

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Fashion time travel

Sorry for the long absence, been having crisis of time management and technical difficulties. Laptop is back now and hopefully some semblance of posting will resume.

A while ago (meaning last year!) I went on a trip to Auckland and visited the museum, as is the proper touristy thing to do. I particularly enjoyed their fashion throughout the ages exhibit, and took some photos (horrible inside museum quality photos, photographer I am not) with the purpose of sharing them on the blog but never got round to it. However, no time like the present.

I can't really remember what era each of the picture comes from - silly me, forgot to take notes or some from of reminder, I just thought they were pretty...

The dresses from the earlier periods were all displayed on what looked to be relatively short mannequins, I'm guessing the people were shorter then? Look at that tiny waist - this is the short of dress that I would have liked to go to the ball in... Oh the drama!

1920s! Look at the beading on the number I know something like this would do be no favours but the idea of shimmering away in this would make me feel divine.

The devil is in the details - the draping, the collar, the cuffs. If I could get away with running around in this getup on a regular basis I probably would.

This one was in another exhibit, but I through it in because I thought it was adorable....

I love pouring over fashion exhibits in museums. In 100 years time I wonder how our era will be represented? I wonder if in 100 years time what those little glass boxes that the decades of our centuries will be condensed into will look like?

Thursday, July 8, 2010


Every time I seem to get into my head that I'm getting back on my feet everything just seems so overwhelming again. I think the six years of continuous study has just gotten to me, I just want it to be over, to be able to not have study nights and weekends, to not feel guilty about not getting enough done.

At the same time I'm scared, I've been a student for so long, when real life begins I won't know how to find my feet, I won't know where to start.

I feel like I can only handle little things at a time, a little bit of cleaning (the room is finally tidy, you have no idea how much better that has made me feel), a plan to be organised (but sticking to a plan is a different thing), but trying to get a hold on my life is another story.

I would love not to feel overwhelmed... to be able to relax without these niggling thoughts in the back of my mind. One and half more years of study and I'll be done. Then 3 months of travel, utter will be bliss...I like to dream and plan but I don't want to distract myself from this last dash.

In fact this is a distraction now. But I need it, although sometimes I think I would be better off working from dawn till the wee hours but I would hardly survive. It's the little things right.

Friday, June 25, 2010

What the heck happened??

Hi guys...

You may be wondering what happened to me, or you may not be, that's cool too.

Well I got busy, and then I thought I would just shut down the blog. I was still reading you guys, but just didn't have any energy to comment - stuff has been hectic y'all.

I had been thinking a lot about privacy issues and having my face splashed all over the Internet, and while I know that people I'm worried about who may come into contact with this may actually not it's still an issue for the job I'm going into. So then I thought, I'll just shut it I made it private while I decided. Hence no updates if you follow through reader and no access if you tried to get into the site.

But....I really didn't want to shut down the blog. Although I am a sporadic blogger I really enjoy having it there, plus it makes me feel a lot more connected to the whole community. So hence I've decided to go a bit anonymous from now on. I contemplated starting a new blog, but I've become attached to this one, and as far as I know no one has really found it so it should be okay.

So I've done a bit of editing, everything with my face on it is gone, and everything a bit too personal is gone too. And that's how it's going to stay. I'd like to keep doing outfit photos, so I'm going to think about how to work around that, (I don't like the idea of a chopped off head kinda of dealy...). Also while I was at it I decided to give the blog a make over, what do you think?

So here's hoping for some regular posting and that you guys are still around, I'll try to make my presence felt a bit more round your neck of the woods too.

Ah fresh starts, feels great.